It has been a dry spell. Dry, withered in every sense and realm of matters. Words do not flow, thoughts do not form, time seems to be playing out in slow motion and then there is this utter crushing silence of emptyness.
I keep wondering how did I end up being like this. As a youth, I used to see this listlessness, this defeated empty look in grown-ups. I would rage against their apathy then. My idealistic young hot blood would rebel against their lack of strength.
But today, it is an altogether another story.
Today I am on the other side of the fence. Today, I am not surprised when my daugther tells me, "Mom, you've got to fight it, you can't give up." I am more surprised when I do not seem to have the guts to fight it out. Real fear has made home in my soul. I just want to go with the flow of things and am not making any real effort to change the course of life no matter how hard the current one seems to be. I simply seem to have accepted defeat. I seem to have grown up after-all.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Mindedness.....Narrow, Broad and many more.....
This is a story. A story that is probably lived out by many secretly, with the helplessness, hopelessness and regrets that comes with everything that is secret.
In these present days, as against "Once apon a time", there exists a Mr. X and his Mrs. Y X. Mrs. Y X was once Miss Y A. Upon her marriage to Mr. X, she reluctantly became Mrs. Y X. She believes that she does not have to change her name to prove her loyalty, her love to Mr. X. However, Mr. X, believes differently.
In the ensuing argument, he blames her for being "Narrow minded". Now to her sensibilities, it is a ridiculous notion. She is outraged. She, who has always thought "out of the box", done "out of the ordinary". How can it be? "She cannot be narrow minded!!!!!".
She was an educated modern day woman. Earns her own independance and also manages to build a harmonious home for her family and husband. She demands her husband to explain himself.
According to his viewpoint, he believes she should consider it an honor that he is giving her his name and title. There are many of them tribe there who consider women as a use and throw item. As against them, he wants her to be known to the world as his and vice versa. Also it automatically entitles her to everything that is his and will do away unnecessary paperwork if anything happens to him. Consider the same sentiment shared by a great many number of women out there who also feel the same way in taking up her husbands name/surname. Why should she, Miss Y A, feel so differently about the whole issue? Isn't she being "narrow-minded" in thinking only about her pride, ego and her principles?
Fair enough you say. And so is her point.
Now who is fairer, is the question? Is there a right answer for this? And how many women before us in ancient times also asked this same question. I am sure even in those times there were women who thought "out-of the box". Wanted to do things differently than the traditional ways. Just finished reading a retelling of the Mahabharatha, from Draupadi's perspective. It amazed me that Miss Y A a.k.a. Mrs Y X and she shared a lot many in common. She was not too keen on the name of Draupadi, a direct reference to her father. She was named Paanchali by Vyasa later. However, Draupadi was the harbinger of the greatest war in our history. So will Mrs. Y's attitude lead to the same destructive forces? So is this what dharma is after all? Is this the ways the Gods deemed us to live? Is Mrs Y X narrow-minded because she is thinking only about the way she wants things to be? Or is she broad-minded for thinking of the many possibilities that exist outside the boundaries of rules and norms?
Who is fairer? Who is narrow, broad and many more in between........?
In these present days, as against "Once apon a time", there exists a Mr. X and his Mrs. Y X. Mrs. Y X was once Miss Y A. Upon her marriage to Mr. X, she reluctantly became Mrs. Y X. She believes that she does not have to change her name to prove her loyalty, her love to Mr. X. However, Mr. X, believes differently.
In the ensuing argument, he blames her for being "Narrow minded". Now to her sensibilities, it is a ridiculous notion. She is outraged. She, who has always thought "out of the box", done "out of the ordinary". How can it be? "She cannot be narrow minded!!!!!".
She was an educated modern day woman. Earns her own independance and also manages to build a harmonious home for her family and husband. She demands her husband to explain himself.
According to his viewpoint, he believes she should consider it an honor that he is giving her his name and title. There are many of them tribe there who consider women as a use and throw item. As against them, he wants her to be known to the world as his and vice versa. Also it automatically entitles her to everything that is his and will do away unnecessary paperwork if anything happens to him. Consider the same sentiment shared by a great many number of women out there who also feel the same way in taking up her husbands name/surname. Why should she, Miss Y A, feel so differently about the whole issue? Isn't she being "narrow-minded" in thinking only about her pride, ego and her principles?
Fair enough you say. And so is her point.
Now who is fairer, is the question? Is there a right answer for this? And how many women before us in ancient times also asked this same question. I am sure even in those times there were women who thought "out-of the box". Wanted to do things differently than the traditional ways. Just finished reading a retelling of the Mahabharatha, from Draupadi's perspective. It amazed me that Miss Y A a.k.a. Mrs Y X and she shared a lot many in common. She was not too keen on the name of Draupadi, a direct reference to her father. She was named Paanchali by Vyasa later. However, Draupadi was the harbinger of the greatest war in our history. So will Mrs. Y's attitude lead to the same destructive forces? So is this what dharma is after all? Is this the ways the Gods deemed us to live? Is Mrs Y X narrow-minded because she is thinking only about the way she wants things to be? Or is she broad-minded for thinking of the many possibilities that exist outside the boundaries of rules and norms?
Who is fairer? Who is narrow, broad and many more in between........?
Saturday, April 17, 2010
about me
A blank slate maybe? Inspite of the no. of years!!!!!
Still learning, still grapling with life and thankfully still capable of being surprised by it.
Besides that a little tongue-tied right now to fill up anymore of this space.....
Welcome to my world.........
Still learning, still grapling with life and thankfully still capable of being surprised by it.
Besides that a little tongue-tied right now to fill up anymore of this space.....
Welcome to my world.........
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Hope is a fatal disease
A hope, a fear,
A loss and the ashes.
Will a phoenix rise again?
Will there be rain again?
Will the greens sprout again,
In these arid mud?
A hope, a dream?
A fear,
Hope is a fatal disease.
And O! my frail heart!!!
You are incurable!!!
A loss and the ashes.
Will a phoenix rise again?
Will there be rain again?
Will the greens sprout again,
In these arid mud?
A hope, a dream?
A fear,
Hope is a fatal disease.
And O! my frail heart!!!
You are incurable!!!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Nuggets.........
Time and Tide waits for None. As a child I had heard it so often times. Dad used this saying to drill into us the importance of timeliness. It may not have been as effective as he would've liked, but lately I have been thinking about this phrase a lot in terms of life and happenings. Events in life that should have occurred should occur at the appropriate time. Once you skip that event and timetable, you lose out on the magic that event brings into your life when it should have happened. At least that is the cultural conditioning of my mind.
Is it true, that "Falling in love at the age of 40" does not have the same magic as "falling in love at the age of 16"? At the raw age of 16, isn't it just hormones and a pink tinted outlook that lands you in someone's arms? Is it truly love? And then again, the rush of blood to the ears at that age is so phenomenal. Does that happen when you are 40 when you have your eyes wide open to all the cruelties and ugliness in life? Or is it that maybe in spite of it, love exists and it is more beautiful. Of course not with the blood rush but maybe a slow dance.
Another oft heard nugget is "Ignorance is bliss". Too much knowledge takes away the spontaneity out of life. You measure each and every step and miss out on the beauty of the sceneries that dot the road; the mysterious bylanes, the dangerous shortcuts, the murk and dirt. All you have in front of you is the long straight predictably boring road. Which of these is a oft-trodden path?
Watch the sunrise....footfalls on a beach...and so on and so forth.....But how often do we actually go back to these words of wisdom, these nuggets during critical times is the main question here.
Is it true, that "Falling in love at the age of 40" does not have the same magic as "falling in love at the age of 16"? At the raw age of 16, isn't it just hormones and a pink tinted outlook that lands you in someone's arms? Is it truly love? And then again, the rush of blood to the ears at that age is so phenomenal. Does that happen when you are 40 when you have your eyes wide open to all the cruelties and ugliness in life? Or is it that maybe in spite of it, love exists and it is more beautiful. Of course not with the blood rush but maybe a slow dance.
Another oft heard nugget is "Ignorance is bliss". Too much knowledge takes away the spontaneity out of life. You measure each and every step and miss out on the beauty of the sceneries that dot the road; the mysterious bylanes, the dangerous shortcuts, the murk and dirt. All you have in front of you is the long straight predictably boring road. Which of these is a oft-trodden path?
Watch the sunrise....footfalls on a beach...and so on and so forth.....But how often do we actually go back to these words of wisdom, these nuggets during critical times is the main question here.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
The Past.....
How often does your memories come back in such a force that u feel like u are reeling under an onslaught of incomprehensible loss. Just imagine the setting. Some soulful song playing in the background, sepia tinted photographs of days gone past, the fading light of setting sun filtering thru the window and u have a classic recipe for the said state. The torrent of memories that follow is hard to stem.
Memories of the bylanes and winding roads of childhood and youth. The Mango and Jamun trees. The lazy summer afternoons. And sometimes adventures of these very afternoons. The first flush of those strong emotions running riot. That look, that simple touch, the unspoken words in the eyes. It takes you back to the days of immense possibilities, dreams and promises, questions and apprehensions.
Suddenly you want to grow up quicky and get over with it all. In the typical exuberance of our youth we try to over reach and before you know life takes over. And all one is left with is the memories that rush at you at the most unexpected time and leave you standing in the pool of mere possibilities which are now unreachable.
Memories of the bylanes and winding roads of childhood and youth. The Mango and Jamun trees. The lazy summer afternoons. And sometimes adventures of these very afternoons. The first flush of those strong emotions running riot. That look, that simple touch, the unspoken words in the eyes. It takes you back to the days of immense possibilities, dreams and promises, questions and apprehensions.
Suddenly you want to grow up quicky and get over with it all. In the typical exuberance of our youth we try to over reach and before you know life takes over. And all one is left with is the memories that rush at you at the most unexpected time and leave you standing in the pool of mere possibilities which are now unreachable.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)