It has been a dry spell. Dry, withered in every sense and realm of matters. Words do not flow, thoughts do not form, time seems to be playing out in slow motion and then there is this utter crushing silence of emptyness.
I keep wondering how did I end up being like this. As a youth, I used to see this listlessness, this defeated empty look in grown-ups. I would rage against their apathy then. My idealistic young hot blood would rebel against their lack of strength.
But today, it is an altogether another story.
Today I am on the other side of the fence. Today, I am not surprised when my daugther tells me, "Mom, you've got to fight it, you can't give up." I am more surprised when I do not seem to have the guts to fight it out. Real fear has made home in my soul. I just want to go with the flow of things and am not making any real effort to change the course of life no matter how hard the current one seems to be. I simply seem to have accepted defeat. I seem to have grown up after-all.